Charlie Sheen and Chris Brown went too far

Men, we all have them, the heated argument. The kind of argument that makes you want to knock you significant other's head off. The same person you love unconditionally knows what buttons to push to get you heated quickly.
When these type of arguments go too far, someone gets hurt and/or there is much to explain to the police. Such as the case with Charlie Sheen. Such was the case of Chris Brown. Such as the case of yourself if you do not realize your point of no return. No matter how good of a person you are, you can end up with a lifetime of regrets and apologies from a single fight.

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Men of the world unite and build your man cave

What's a Men's Issues Column without talking about a space where a man can be a man. Men need a place at home where we can relax and have some quiet time. We need a place where we can hang out with the boys. We need a place to make stuff, fix stuff and even destroy stuff. This is where the man cave comes to mind.

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Kwanzaa, meaning the "first fruits of the harvest," is a cultural holiday based on traditional African harvest celebrations. Kwanzaa is also a celebration of family, community and culture. The seven day celebration begins on December 26th and ends January 1st.
Kwanzaa was created by Dr. Maulana Karenga in 1966 and per the official website was established "as an African American and Pan-African holiday [that is] celebrated throughout the world. " Kwanzaa is not and was not intended to have the commercialization attached to the holiday as Christmas currently has. As many of us will attest to, the true meaning of Christmas is often forgotten as the gift of giving becomes the gift of paying off your credit card purchases. Kwanzaa is not intended to replace Christmas. A common misconception of Kwanzaa is the celebration represents a organized religion or political group. Kwanzaa does not manifest from an organized religion and is not intended to take the place of your faith, political party or affiliation.

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Try a cultural new years resolution

So you have a new years resolution. Let me guess, lose some weight. It is funny when attending the gym in January and seeing so many newbies in there. Once inside, many newbies seek no direction and fail to develop a workout plan despite the temporary dedication. By the time the month of March comes around, I finally have access to the equipment I had to fight for in January and February. Reason being is the dedication to the resolution faded away.
While not to discourage you on obtaining and maintaining a weight loss resolution, I would like to add another resolution that will enrich your mind while you work off those holiday pounds of turkey, gravy and your Aunt's peach cobbler (yum).
Make a cultural resolution in 2010. Take the time to understand and experience a new culture. One way to grow as a person is to make an attempt to understand what life is like in someone else's shoes. Doing this will heighten your appreciation for your fellow man and woman.

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Snoop Dogg is among the hip-hop legends for shizzle

Whether you love him or hate him, you have to admit Snoop Dogg is a legend in the world of rap music. Among the hardest achievements to have in the rap game is staying relevant and not becoming a "one-hit wonder". Believe it or not, Snoop Dogg has been in the business for the last 17 years. You can almost count the combined number of rap artists and groups on both hands who have that kind of "staying power". A legend in the music industry is hard to find. Rap legends are no different.
Below is a list from the author's perspective (in no particular order) of the legends in rap music who are making music today:

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Stop labeling Tiger Woods and other athletes as role models

Maybe Charles Barkley had a point. It is time to stop labeling athletes as role models. We place huge expectations on athletes and want them to achieve a level of perfection we may never obtain. When athletes fall, we are ashamed of them and criticize them for not becoming role models. Top athletes face serious scrutiny when caught in the wrong and a media circus pouring out every detail of their transgressions. For every top athlete who has been under the unfortunate limelight, there are several lesser known athletes who are law-abiding and family men.

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She cheated on you, now what are you going to do?

Your Spouse or girlfriend was caught or admitted to an affair. After your initial reaction of shouting words I cannot print in this article and finding out about the other person, men like women have to deal with the hurt and shattered trust and the realization the relationship may be over. So often the man is the cheater, dog, womanizer, etc. What must a man do when this unfortunate circumstance is present in the relationship?
A man in this situation will have to address 4 steps to determine if he wants to move forward with the relationship.

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Van Waller as the "Motivator"

After listening to Van Waller explain his life's story, you may have given him a "pass" if he had chosen to give up on life. While observing Van in action with his life's mission to "motivate" others, you realize Van's remarkable feat of persistence giving him the willingness to succeed. As a author, motivational speaker and professional photographer, Van Waller brings these gifts together to carry out his mission.

Recently I had the pleasure of catching up with Van and realized just after a few minutes of conversation, the obstacles I place in front of myself to avoid reaching my full potential have to be eliminated. I am starting to focus my goals and dreams and develop plans to achieve them. If you or your company find yourself in a similar situation, this is where Van can help. As a child, Van was diagnosed and suffered with a skin condition that made "fitting-in" as a youth impossible. As Van became a teenager and young adult, the condition grew worse and greatly affected his self-esteem and relationships with people. Often ridiculed by his peers, Van dealt with loneliness and thoughts of suicide as life seemed unfair and impossible. The medication prescribed to Van unfortunately had the side-effect of causing blindness. Eventually regaining his sight, Van as a young man found himself homeless and sleeping in the back seat of his car in parking lots in the San Francisco Bay Area. To top it off, Van was told by some who were close to him that he would never succeed in life.

Those who ridiculed and underestimated Van, didn't realize the motivation to succeed Van carried within himself. As the author of the book "An Invitation to Succeed," a powerful resource that provides ways to achieve your goals, Van is preparing to distribute his new book "It's a Man Thing, Food for Thought, Growth and Change." The motivation for this book is based on his concern for the young men who growing up without fathers and with no mentoring on what it takes to be a man. "This book addresses tools and resources that deal with men and young men's issues" Van explains. For more details on Van's books and their future CD format, please check with Van's website. Van who refers to himself at the "Encouragement Specialist" has spoken throughout the Bay Area at various schools, corporations, churches, conferences, radio and television interviews with the mission to provide encouragement any way he can. Van also conducts self esteem workshops which provide assistance on how to build your self esteem. His background provides the backdrop of someone who understands how difficult it is to be encouraged in an environment where encouragement can be difficult. Van has the ability to reach out and encourage those who can't get over the stumbling blocks to reach their dreams.

The Encouragement Specialist has brought his gifts as a author and photographer together with his soon to be released catalog that assist in providing the tools to overcome obstacles and provide perspectives to view ourselves in a more positive light. The catalog contains posters that provide Van's photographic images and encouraging quotes from his book "An Invitation to Succeed." Van's goal is to have the catalog complete before Christmas. For more information on Van Waller or if you would like for Van to speak at your event, you can contact Van at 707-208-5855 or website http://www.vanwaller.com/.

Michael Vick welcomed, booed and scored on his old team

Could yesterday's scenario turn out any better for Michael Vick? Michael Vick as a member of the Philadelphia Eagles entered the place of his former team the Atlanta Falcons and ran and passed for touchdowns to help the Eagles win the game by a score of 34-7.
Before pleading guilty to the now infamous charges and serving time in prison for his dog fighting activities, Michael Vick invigorated the Atlanta Falcon franchise through six seasons as Quarterback. He was not only loved by the city but the main attraction of the NFL with a salary that matched his star power as the highest paid player in the league. Now making a salary that is a far cry from his earlier game pay, Vick is a man who served his time and has worked his way back to the NFL this season.
Upon entering the game with a smattering of boos from his former football fans, the boos soon turned to cheers and chants of "We want Vick" by the Vick faithful. Many of the faithful were wearing his old #7 Falcon jersey. After the game, Vick received congratulations from the fans still present in the blowout win and his former teammates.
The game served as a microcosm of the Country's opinion of Michael Vick. While it's obvious fans from Vick's former team remember the days when he lit up the league with his dazzling playmaking ability have chosen the path of forgiveness and consider his punishment as time served. There were those present who will never forgive him and perhaps look forward to the day to spit on his grave. There will be those who no matter how many times he apologizes will never forgive him. One thing is for certain, Michael Vick is fortunate to have the ability to return to the game that made him famous and make an impact on the field. His final legacy will be what he makes of his life off the field.

So you are mad at Tiger Woods

You may be mad, you may be disappointed, you probably can't believe it." Why Tiger why?" you may ask. Perhaps you love Tiger and you're hurt because the pedestal you put him on is broken. Perhaps you didn't care for him and you are glad to see him in this position (boy, are the haters out there happy).

When we first heard the story about Tiger Woods in his SUV running over a fire hydrant in front of his OWN house and crashing into a neighbor's tree, like yourselves I was wondering what happened. When we heard the story of the daring rescue by his wife with a golf club and Tiger's semi-conscious state it raised a greater concern. Then came the real nightmare for the Woods family. Questions and allegations from tabloids, twitter and chatter from you and I as we searched for answers to the questions "Where was he going at that time of night?" "What really happened to him?" "Was there a fight?" "Who are these Women?" and worst of all Tiger's "sort of" admission of infidelity and his stance of resolving this matter in private. Perhaps you don't care, never did care and realize there are more important things in the world to talk about such as Afghanistan, the economy and dealing with foreclosure. To those of you of the latter opinion, bare with me for a few minutes.

Now I'm not going to get into the days of waiting for a response from Mr. Woods or the police's joke of an investigation. I'm certainly not going to discuss the Women who were linked to allegations of affairs with Mr. Woods who either went public or were dragged into the public. I am not going to crucify Tiger for his alleged affairs or become the moral majority.
However as a writer for the "Men's Issues" column, I could not let this go without a voice. The greater issue this story leads to is that of infidelity. Whether it's Tiger Woods, you as a Man or the Man in your life, it is an issue that you either faced or know someone who has dealt with in a committed relationship.

Why did you do it Tiger? This is what many of you have asked. You know Tiger Woods as one of those few people transcending their profession. What Michael Jordan means to the NBA, Muhammad Ali was for Boxing, Tiger Woods is that person for the game of golf (ironically all three had issues with infidelity but that wasn't my point). Tiger and his superior golf game attracts millions to the sport and enticed many to pick up a club or watch a tournament on TV. Tiger has brought wealth to the sport like no other golfer before him. Tiger Woods is probably the most recognizable athlete in the world. With all of these accolades come fortune and fame.
What also comes with fortune and fame is more temptation than the average Joe could ever know. Before some Women in a committed relationship can utter "NOT MY MAN," SOME of their Men have cheated with just one to two opportunities from women giving them the time of day. Imagine what Tiger Woods is tempted with as he travels around the world to play golf. Marriage proposals, Women who would leave their men at a moment's notice, Women willing to offer themselves as living sacrifices anytime and anywhere and groupies making it a point to be wherever he is. These Women who are in it for their own self gratification could care less about Tiger's Wife and family. The average Joe in a committed relationship does not face the magnitude of temptations Tiger has thus making it easier to point the finger at Mr. Woods mistakes. For the record, I am not justifying or making an excuse for Mr. Woods, what's wrong is wrong. I am just trying to explain the magnitude of temptations for someone in his position.Many of us are in awe over his ability dominate the game of Golf and admired his once "clean" image. By this admission, we created an image of a person who was raised to a higher standard with the expectations of maintaining that standard. However when someone stumbles at that plateau, the result is a crash heard around the world. That crash is not just the Escalade that hit the hydrant and tree, but the image of Tiger Woods that many had in their minds crashing to the level of reality where the likes of you and I can either relate or criticize. A very popular book I know states "He who has not sin, cast the first stone." Before you hurl your stone (insults) at Tiger, keep in mind what YOU might have done in his position or what you or someone you know has done and is no where near Tiger's position. So understand you may not be mad at Tiger Woods, you may be upset that the pedestal you placed him on has crashed and all that time you spent holding him up was for not.