Stop labeling Tiger Woods and other athletes as role models

Maybe Charles Barkley had a point. It is time to stop labeling athletes as role models. We place huge expectations on athletes and want them to achieve a level of perfection we may never obtain. When athletes fall, we are ashamed of them and criticize them for not becoming role models. Top athletes face serious scrutiny when caught in the wrong and a media circus pouring out every detail of their transgressions. For every top athlete who has been under the unfortunate limelight, there are several lesser known athletes who are law-abiding and family men.

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She cheated on you, now what are you going to do?

Your Spouse or girlfriend was caught or admitted to an affair. After your initial reaction of shouting words I cannot print in this article and finding out about the other person, men like women have to deal with the hurt and shattered trust and the realization the relationship may be over. So often the man is the cheater, dog, womanizer, etc. What must a man do when this unfortunate circumstance is present in the relationship?
A man in this situation will have to address 4 steps to determine if he wants to move forward with the relationship.

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Van Waller as the "Motivator"

After listening to Van Waller explain his life's story, you may have given him a "pass" if he had chosen to give up on life. While observing Van in action with his life's mission to "motivate" others, you realize Van's remarkable feat of persistence giving him the willingness to succeed. As a author, motivational speaker and professional photographer, Van Waller brings these gifts together to carry out his mission.

Recently I had the pleasure of catching up with Van and realized just after a few minutes of conversation, the obstacles I place in front of myself to avoid reaching my full potential have to be eliminated. I am starting to focus my goals and dreams and develop plans to achieve them. If you or your company find yourself in a similar situation, this is where Van can help. As a child, Van was diagnosed and suffered with a skin condition that made "fitting-in" as a youth impossible. As Van became a teenager and young adult, the condition grew worse and greatly affected his self-esteem and relationships with people. Often ridiculed by his peers, Van dealt with loneliness and thoughts of suicide as life seemed unfair and impossible. The medication prescribed to Van unfortunately had the side-effect of causing blindness. Eventually regaining his sight, Van as a young man found himself homeless and sleeping in the back seat of his car in parking lots in the San Francisco Bay Area. To top it off, Van was told by some who were close to him that he would never succeed in life.

Those who ridiculed and underestimated Van, didn't realize the motivation to succeed Van carried within himself. As the author of the book "An Invitation to Succeed," a powerful resource that provides ways to achieve your goals, Van is preparing to distribute his new book "It's a Man Thing, Food for Thought, Growth and Change." The motivation for this book is based on his concern for the young men who growing up without fathers and with no mentoring on what it takes to be a man. "This book addresses tools and resources that deal with men and young men's issues" Van explains. For more details on Van's books and their future CD format, please check with Van's website. Van who refers to himself at the "Encouragement Specialist" has spoken throughout the Bay Area at various schools, corporations, churches, conferences, radio and television interviews with the mission to provide encouragement any way he can. Van also conducts self esteem workshops which provide assistance on how to build your self esteem. His background provides the backdrop of someone who understands how difficult it is to be encouraged in an environment where encouragement can be difficult. Van has the ability to reach out and encourage those who can't get over the stumbling blocks to reach their dreams.

The Encouragement Specialist has brought his gifts as a author and photographer together with his soon to be released catalog that assist in providing the tools to overcome obstacles and provide perspectives to view ourselves in a more positive light. The catalog contains posters that provide Van's photographic images and encouraging quotes from his book "An Invitation to Succeed." Van's goal is to have the catalog complete before Christmas. For more information on Van Waller or if you would like for Van to speak at your event, you can contact Van at 707-208-5855 or website http://www.vanwaller.com/.

Michael Vick welcomed, booed and scored on his old team

Could yesterday's scenario turn out any better for Michael Vick? Michael Vick as a member of the Philadelphia Eagles entered the place of his former team the Atlanta Falcons and ran and passed for touchdowns to help the Eagles win the game by a score of 34-7.
Before pleading guilty to the now infamous charges and serving time in prison for his dog fighting activities, Michael Vick invigorated the Atlanta Falcon franchise through six seasons as Quarterback. He was not only loved by the city but the main attraction of the NFL with a salary that matched his star power as the highest paid player in the league. Now making a salary that is a far cry from his earlier game pay, Vick is a man who served his time and has worked his way back to the NFL this season.
Upon entering the game with a smattering of boos from his former football fans, the boos soon turned to cheers and chants of "We want Vick" by the Vick faithful. Many of the faithful were wearing his old #7 Falcon jersey. After the game, Vick received congratulations from the fans still present in the blowout win and his former teammates.
The game served as a microcosm of the Country's opinion of Michael Vick. While it's obvious fans from Vick's former team remember the days when he lit up the league with his dazzling playmaking ability have chosen the path of forgiveness and consider his punishment as time served. There were those present who will never forgive him and perhaps look forward to the day to spit on his grave. There will be those who no matter how many times he apologizes will never forgive him. One thing is for certain, Michael Vick is fortunate to have the ability to return to the game that made him famous and make an impact on the field. His final legacy will be what he makes of his life off the field.

So you are mad at Tiger Woods

You may be mad, you may be disappointed, you probably can't believe it." Why Tiger why?" you may ask. Perhaps you love Tiger and you're hurt because the pedestal you put him on is broken. Perhaps you didn't care for him and you are glad to see him in this position (boy, are the haters out there happy).

When we first heard the story about Tiger Woods in his SUV running over a fire hydrant in front of his OWN house and crashing into a neighbor's tree, like yourselves I was wondering what happened. When we heard the story of the daring rescue by his wife with a golf club and Tiger's semi-conscious state it raised a greater concern. Then came the real nightmare for the Woods family. Questions and allegations from tabloids, twitter and chatter from you and I as we searched for answers to the questions "Where was he going at that time of night?" "What really happened to him?" "Was there a fight?" "Who are these Women?" and worst of all Tiger's "sort of" admission of infidelity and his stance of resolving this matter in private. Perhaps you don't care, never did care and realize there are more important things in the world to talk about such as Afghanistan, the economy and dealing with foreclosure. To those of you of the latter opinion, bare with me for a few minutes.

Now I'm not going to get into the days of waiting for a response from Mr. Woods or the police's joke of an investigation. I'm certainly not going to discuss the Women who were linked to allegations of affairs with Mr. Woods who either went public or were dragged into the public. I am not going to crucify Tiger for his alleged affairs or become the moral majority.
However as a writer for the "Men's Issues" column, I could not let this go without a voice. The greater issue this story leads to is that of infidelity. Whether it's Tiger Woods, you as a Man or the Man in your life, it is an issue that you either faced or know someone who has dealt with in a committed relationship.

Why did you do it Tiger? This is what many of you have asked. You know Tiger Woods as one of those few people transcending their profession. What Michael Jordan means to the NBA, Muhammad Ali was for Boxing, Tiger Woods is that person for the game of golf (ironically all three had issues with infidelity but that wasn't my point). Tiger and his superior golf game attracts millions to the sport and enticed many to pick up a club or watch a tournament on TV. Tiger has brought wealth to the sport like no other golfer before him. Tiger Woods is probably the most recognizable athlete in the world. With all of these accolades come fortune and fame.
What also comes with fortune and fame is more temptation than the average Joe could ever know. Before some Women in a committed relationship can utter "NOT MY MAN," SOME of their Men have cheated with just one to two opportunities from women giving them the time of day. Imagine what Tiger Woods is tempted with as he travels around the world to play golf. Marriage proposals, Women who would leave their men at a moment's notice, Women willing to offer themselves as living sacrifices anytime and anywhere and groupies making it a point to be wherever he is. These Women who are in it for their own self gratification could care less about Tiger's Wife and family. The average Joe in a committed relationship does not face the magnitude of temptations Tiger has thus making it easier to point the finger at Mr. Woods mistakes. For the record, I am not justifying or making an excuse for Mr. Woods, what's wrong is wrong. I am just trying to explain the magnitude of temptations for someone in his position.Many of us are in awe over his ability dominate the game of Golf and admired his once "clean" image. By this admission, we created an image of a person who was raised to a higher standard with the expectations of maintaining that standard. However when someone stumbles at that plateau, the result is a crash heard around the world. That crash is not just the Escalade that hit the hydrant and tree, but the image of Tiger Woods that many had in their minds crashing to the level of reality where the likes of you and I can either relate or criticize. A very popular book I know states "He who has not sin, cast the first stone." Before you hurl your stone (insults) at Tiger, keep in mind what YOU might have done in his position or what you or someone you know has done and is no where near Tiger's position. So understand you may not be mad at Tiger Woods, you may be upset that the pedestal you placed him on has crashed and all that time you spent holding him up was for not.

So you need to purchase a Suit

Look for this article in the Examiner. Com.

Men and suits generally fall in four categories:
You don't own one or one that fits properly
You have your trusty suit or two for any event
You have "flashy" suits for a night on the town or church but not for a business meeting
You are the sharp dress man who has the wardrobe for business and a night on the town
If you are #4, this article does not apply to you. However feel free to add your advice to the bottom of this column. Numbers 1-3, this is for you.
I pondered writing this article after I brought one of my suits recently to a local Men's Warehouse for tailoring. Due to weight loss (through diet and exercise - the hard way), my suit jacket was beginning to look like a hand me down from a big brother and alterations were in order. Many times a Man will buy a suit when there is an occasion that arises in the immediate future e.g.; Wedding, Funeral, Job Interview, Business meeting, Upscale event, etc. However purchasing a suit at the last minute is not the best option. It is always good to have at least one suit pressed, tailored and ready to go. Here are some ideas to think about when purchasing a suit.
What color suit should I purchase?Whether you are "starting out" buying suits or have a rack of fine tailored wear, the two colors that are a must in your closet are navy blue and black. These colors are boilerplate for the business world and elsewhere. With a navy blue jacket and to a lesser extent black, you are able to wear the jackets with different colors of slacks thus expanding your wardrobe. For a second opinion, I asked my helpful Men's Warehouse representative the same question and her response was navy blue and charcoal. She stated with a Navy Blue suit you can interchange with different color slacks. An option of purchasing a navy blue with pen stripes or a black suit with pen stripes is nice, however the color of the penstripe can limit the options available for the shirts and slacks. If you have penstripes on these boilerplate suits, make sure the stripes are thin so they are easier to interchange. Regarding shirts, you can't go wrong with a plain white long-sleeve shirt. White shirts are the "plain jane" of dress shirts but for starters it will go with anything. Having at least two white shirts in your closet is handy. Blue is the second recommended color for a dress shirt.
Times are hard and money is tight, do I need to buy an expensive suit?No you don't need to spend big money on a name brand suit. However you generally want to shy away from the sub $100 suits. I know times are hard and if a suit under $100 is all you can afford, I completely understand. No snob appeal here! Keep in mind with suits the old saying applies "You get what you pay for." Speaking from experience, what I have discovered from sub $100 suits is over time the wear and drycleaning can often fade the color and will make the suit useless. I have donated suits I no longer wear, but a suit with fade spots won't do any good. Based on my experience, the material and stitching of those suits are not quality and tend to unravel in a short period of time. Not to mention the style and fit is poor. Needless to say, I no longer own those suits. On some occasions while looking for a suit, I have noticed higher quality suits near the sub $100 mark, but those were either discontinued styles or the last sizes of those particular suits in the store. Those type of suits are excellent to purchase because of the quality for the price. Suits in the $150-$350 range can provide a great fit, a professional look and earn you compliments as well. With suits, quality is better than quantity so rather than buying the 2 for $75 suits, you should hold out for a better suit that will last longer than those "2 for" or sub $100 suits.
Stay tuned for part 2 of of this series as I discuss quality and fit. Feel free to leave your comments or contact me on twitter or follow my blog.

Follow me on Twitter

Yes, I jumped to the hot medium of communication. Actually I have been on Twitter for a little while and I enjoy reading in my spare time what the others I follow have to say. I got to step up my Twitter game and "tweet" more but I am still feeling it out.

I am not a myspace or facebook person yet and haven't had the desire to do so. I like Twitter because you can get the message out quick and to so many people at once. Also good for marketing once you build up your followers.

So look for me on Twitter for updates and continue to check this blog for updates on Verbal Abstractions and new projects in the works.